Anthropophobia

I can't find any words, why? They run away from me

Choking, I barely heard "Why can't I breathe?"

Piercing with gazes, "Please don't look" I cry

How many times do I need to hear rejections and goodbyes?

I'll hide away, a hide and seek, still recycling

A heart kept under lock and key, another wall too tall for me

I'll never reach your goals, too high, back to starting line

Please leave me be, listen to me just this time

I'm scared, I know, but I worry what they'll think of me

As tears will flow, see me trembling, a tragedy, I see

Maybe I'm not like the others surrounding me

I finally see

Run away, I'll flee from all the kindness

Burn it in the flames, I'll cast it all away in pain

But why did it have to all end up still destroyed by time?

I wanna cry

Slip and fall, all I do is make mistakes

People laugh, but I deserve the laughing and the hate

And again in fear, I'm waiting for the sun to rise

If it didn't though, I guess I really wouldn't mind

Always uncertain and looking out for enemies

Believing deeply that someone didn't like me

A demon whispering and laughing deep inside my head

"How does it feel to know they'd rather you dead?" (Lol)

Fear and loathing, it'll loop into a lone breath

Hurting terribly, annoying kind of nonsense

Smug snobbery, emotionally thoughtless

Always gonna be the same and sigh, it's complex

Is it this at all? Maybe even that?

Doesn't matter in the end, we'll lie once again

But tell me, who can we blame?

We're really all the same

Forget me, please, you may as well, if I continue

Breaking things, I'll break until I'm pieces that can fade

Why couldn't I just get that very normal right

To live my life?

The hands that reached, I let go of them

Far too many times I think, I count them, every single one, ah

Why do all of these words hemorrhage out of me every time?

Tell me why

Since the beginning, I had just one option to take

But I never found the answer or way to be saved

All the obligations, crushing me, a cruel fate

Yeah, I wish I'd never been born in the first place

The pain inside, the agony and misery

I can't deny, is keeping me from ever moving on

So I again in my deep anxiety

Scream and scream

A fake, a lie, I'm always watching painfully

A fatal cry, I'm begging that my feet will move, ah

But no, you see I don't really wanna end my life today

Don't wanna die today

This life is all about, finding the right things

Every sign is saying listen to your heart that sings

Break of dawn again, I whisper something unafraid

Then I realized I wanna see another day