New Math (live)

Uh this next song takes something that's not that fun, math

And makes it offensive

It's new math, yeah

What's a pirate minus the ship?

Just a creative homeless guy

And an anteater plus a large hungry mutant ant

An ironic way to die

And what's domain? Domain range

A kid with too much in his pants

And two balls minus one

Seven titles at the Tour de France

Yo split a decision with long division

Take the circumference of your circumcision

Live like your data and when you're all set

Put it all together and whatever you get

It's new math

It's new math

And what's a bag of chips divided by five

Well, that's a Nike worker's meal

And Santa Claus multiplied by I

Well I guess that makes him real

And the square root of the NBA

Is Africa in a box

How do you trace a scatter plot?

You give the pencil to Michael J Fox

Whatever

Take the approximate moral proportion

Of the probable problem of a pro life abortion

Live like your data and when you're all set

Put it all together and whatever you get

It's new, it's new, it's new, it's new, it's new math

And if you took a factor tree

Of the factors that cause my girl to leave me

You'd have a tree

Full of Asian porn

C-A-L, see you later

Mathematical minds make industrial smog

And what's the opposite of LMX?

Dura flame the unnatural log, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Support the farmers with a protractor

Link Kennedy and Lincoln with a common factor

Live like your data and when you're all set

Put it all together and whatever you get

It's new, it's new, it's new, alright word problems, ready?

If there's a fat guy in a pastry shop

With a twenty dollar bill and he's ready to buy

In order to predict his volume change

You'll need to know the value of pi

And there's a metal train that's a mile long

And at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her

How long till it reaches and kills the driver

Provided that he is a good conductor?

And if ten percent of men are gay

And twenty percent of men are Chinese

What are the odds that a man chosen at random

Spends his free time at meal time well on his knees?

And if Kim is half as old as Bobby

Who is two years older than twelve year old Tori

For how many more thirty day months

Will their threesomes be considered statutory rape?

'Cause math can be sexy

'Cause having sex is like quadratic expansion

If it can't be split, then it's time to stop

And having sex is like doing fractions

It's improper for the larger one to be on top

And having sex is like math homework

I do it best when I'm alone in my bed

And squaring numbers are just like women

If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head

New math