My dear friends!

TV is all about escapism, yet you want to escape?

C'mon and stay a while as I share with you

The who, what, when, where, why and how of my genius plan

Our scene opens on a little Mr. Puzzles

Now cut to him having no friends

It was a struggle to find anybody who could be my buddy

So instead, I watched TV all day to forget about my troubles (ooh, ooh, ooh, ah)

I was obsessed, I couldn't stop, I wouldn't stop (no)

Until I'd seen every moving picture that exists

So, he made the decision to get into television

I cut off my face and put a TV in its place (ooh, ooh, ooh, ah)

Patience is (ooh-ah) a virtue

Good things come to those who wait (ooh-ah)

Proverbs uttered by utter fools (ooh-ah)

I'll do anything it takes

Are you ready for trouble?

Got you binge-watching

You're stuck with Mr. Puzzles

You can't stop me from cooking up this instant classic (ooh-ah)

You and your friends will look fantastic (ooh, ooh, ooh, ah)

The red carpet is rolled out

Come and get your tickets

Before they're all sold out

Don't know how to miss this moment (ooh-ah)

When those stars hit five

I get creative control of your real life

Ladies and gentlemen, excuse the interruption

The following message goes out to the stars of our show

The SMG4 crew

And we're rolling, let's go

Do you wanna know why I chose you?

Do you wanna know why I chose you?

'Cause you're the stupidest show that I've ever seen

And if I can make you entertaining, I can do anything

Are you ready for trouble?

Got you binge-watching

You're stuck with Mr. Puzzles

You can't stop me from cooking up this instant classic (ooh-ah)

You and your friends will look fantastic (ooh, ooh, ooh, ah)

The red carpet is rolled out

Gotta get your tickets

Before they're all sold out

Don't know how to miss this moment (ooh-ah)

When those stars hit five

I get creative control of your real

Grab a seat and let's seal the deal

When those gorgeous stars hit five (ooh-ah)

I get creative control of your real life

And scene (hmm)