Free

I woke up feeling suffocated, suffocated by my phone, suffocated by my bank

Suffocated by my friends

These aren't my friends

I walked out my front door and waved to my neighbor

'This isn't my house, I don't live here'

I got myself a pack of cigarettes and dirty magazine from the corner shop

Just because I felt like it, just because I can

I put my arm out to hail a taxi and none of them stopped

It's like I don't even exist

Kept walking

I watched an odd looking couple fighting on the pavement and thought about love

I thought about my parents

Perhaps I don't exist? God I sound like one of those people who thinks lifes a simulation

I can't stand those people

There's a heart beating in my chest saying "If not here where, If not here where"

I don't sleep where my body rests saying "If not here where, if not here, anywhere"

Are you Free?

I ask myself - Are you?

I would call my Dad's phone, just to see who picks up

He's been dead for six years now

I call my Mum in a panic to calm myself down

Take myself off to the pub just for one

Just for one

Come out three hours later shit faced

I walk up Portobello road, take a look around, god I love it here

I feel like I'm sixteen

I've never really belonged though

I've never really belonged anywhere to anyone

Not sure I've ever wanted to

There's a heart beating in my chest saying "If not here where, If not here where"

I don't sleep where my body rests saying "If not here where, if not here, anywhere"

Are you Free?

I ask myself - Are you?

I was saying to myself are you free! Are you free!