I'll Never Be Jealous Again

Hinesy. Hinesy, Hinesy, Hinesy. 

I've learned my lesson, Mabel. I'll never be jealous again. 

You stick to it now. 

Absolutely. 

That's easier said than done

I can do it. 

I knew it

But let's take an example, just for fun

(spoken)

C'mon baby. C'mon over here. 

Example? I'm not sure I like the sound of that. 

Sit down. 

(sung)

Picture this

You're sitting and waiting for her to come back from a date

There I am

I'm sitting and waiting for her to come back from a date

Here she comes

Her blouse is unbuttoned, her stockings are not very straight

Here she comes

Her blouse is unbuttoned, her stockings are not very straight

Later on

She gets a bouquet with a card in it saying

"To baby, you were great"

(spoken)

Well, Hinesy, what would you do then?

I would trust her

Yes!

I would trust her

By George, I swear I would trust her

No, I'll never be jealous again

Very good, Hinesy. 

See, it's mind over matter. 

But I'm not finished. C'mon, let's take another example. 

I don't have all the time in the world. 

You got all the time I need, baby, don't worry about it. 

(sung)

Picture this

You've nothing to do so you drop in to chat for a while

There I am

With nothing to do so I drop in to chat for a while

Something's up

The window is open and Gladys is forcing a smile

Something's up

The window is open and Gladys is forcing a smile

There you see

A shirt and a tie and pair of pants in a nice neat little pile

(spoken)

Well, Hinesy?

I— I would trust her

I would trust her

By George, I swear I would trust her

No, I'll never be jealous

I'll never never never never

Never never never never

Never be jealous again

That's the stuff, Hinesy. You're practically cured!

There will be no more nightmares to sleep through

No more keyholes to peep through

No more bushes to creep through

That's my plan

Well, now that you're a new man

Picture this

Bring it on. 

You go to your sweetie's apartment, you borrow the keys

There I am

I go to my sweetie's apartment, I borrow the keys

There she is

She's giving a sailor a very affectionate squeeze

There she is

She's giving a sailor a very affectionate squeeze

Then, to boot

She tells you she was in the arms of a cousin

Who's back from overseas

Ah. Her cousin?

Yes. 

From overseas?

Uh huh. 

Do you expect me to believe that? I was not born yesterday!

Hinesy!

I— I— I would trust her

Oh. 

I would trust her

By George, I swear I would trust her

No, I'll never be jealous

I'll never never never never

Never never never never

Never never never never

Never never never

Never be jealous again

Oh, I'm so proud of you!