I Wanna Be a Producer

Unhappy, unhappy, very unhappy

Unhappy, unhappy

Very very very very very

Very very unhappy

Oh, I debits all duh mornin'

An' I credits all duh eb'nin

Until dem ledgers be right

Until them ledgers be right

I spend my life accounting

With figures and such

Unhappy

To what is my life amounting

It figures, not much

Unhappy

I have a secret desire

Hiding deep in my soul

It sets my heart afire

To see me in this role:

I wanna be a producer

With a hit show on Broadway

I wanna be a producer

Lunch at Sardi's every day

I wanna be a producer

Sport a top hat and a cane

I wanna be a producer

And drive those chorus girls insane!

I wanna be a producer

And sleep until half-past two

I wanna be a producer

And see you, you, you.....not you

I wanna be a producer

Wear a tux on op'ning nights!

I wanna be a producer

And see my name "Leo Bloom" in lights!

He wants to be a producer

Sell it, girls!

Of a great big Broadway smash

Don't forget the balcony!

He wants to be a producer

Ev'ry pocket stuffed with cash

He wants to be a producer

Pinch our cheeks 'til we cry

Ouch!

Eek!

Ooh!

Oh!

Ahh!

Yes!

*whistling*

He wants to be a producer

With a great big casting couch!

I wanna be...

He wants to be...

I wanna be...

He wants to be...

I wanna be the greatest, grandest

And most fabulous producer in the world

He wants to be a producer

He wants to dine with a duchess and a duke

I just gotta be a producer

Drink champagne until I puke

Drink champagne 'til he pukes!

I wanna be a producer

Show the world just what I've got

I'm gonna put on shows

That will enthrall 'em

Read my name in Winchell's column!

I wanna be a producer

'Cause it's everything I'm not

Unhappy... unhappy...

So unhappy

Very very very very

Very very very very...

Sad

I wanna be a producer

(spoken)

Hold everything! What am I doing here? Mr. Bialystock was right! There is a lot more to me than there is to me!

Stop the world, I wanna get on!

Bloom, where do you think you're going?

Mr. Marks, I've got news for you. I quit!

Here's my visor

My Dixon Ticonderoga number two pencil

And my big finish!

(sung)

I'm gonna be a producer

Sound the horn and beat the drum

I'm gonna be a producer

Look out Broadway, here I come!

Broadway, here he comes!