Ooh, I like this toy! Hmm, watch it go

Uh!

We're sorry, the person you are callin' is dead

I was like six, I used to get dissed by the chicks

And everyone would chase me and hit me with bricks

And rocks and sticks and callin' me names

And fill my lunchbox with frog brains, Ugh!

When I left school, it was much iller

My daddy was a serial killer, and how about that

He always made me sit in the back

With all his dead bodies in my lap, move!

When I got home, enough of the static

Hammer and tools and up to the attic

Never knew any other girls or boys

Only my toys, toys, toys

Bang, clang, hammer and twist

Nobody knows I exist and I'm pissed

But I won't be mentally scarred

Instead, I make toys, toys of the graveyard

Monday, ring of the bell

It's all about show and tell

Might as well show all of these bastards just what I got

Yo, check out my toy box

"Nothin' feels better than a good hardy-har-har

Right, boys and girls?"

We got dead bodies everywhere you look

All the nerds sittin' up front got cooked

Others start screamin' and makin' a dash

So I start handin' out toys fast at last

You like slinkies? We got slinkies!

Only mine like to wrap around your face then stretch, twist, kazoom

And whip your body all over the fuckin' room

So come one at a time

Open your gift, and what you will find

Is a toy, my friend, that you'll never forget

It's not every day that you get your skull split

You like soldiers? We got soldiers!

Made with rubber and steel, they look real

But I wouldn't just toss 'em under yo bed

That's how you get a axe to the fo' head

Oh, and don't let 'em sit around all day

Come home and find your mom dead in the hallway

'Cause they can be nifty

All the toys are shifty (he-he)

In my toy box (huh?)

"Woowie, that sure sounds like fun!"

That's not a toy, hey, wait a minute

Don't fuck around, homie, you could lose an eye with it

That's my double blade razor whip chop jimmy

And it's mine motherfucker, so gimme, gimme

You want toys? You come to the right place

Try my little toy mutilatin' mental case

Wind 'em up and let him go among all of ya

Then bang! Serial slaughterer!

Your turn, reach in and get lucky

Oh look, he pulled out a rubber ducky

It make a funny sound, then

Then bang! Through the fingers of his fuckin' hand

Don't stop, class ain't done yet

I remember you callin' me pointdex'

Bookworm brainy, my aggravation

Went into these little creations

Reach in you might find somethin' wicked

Wicked scary, choppin' pickaderry

Off with your head, a robot with a sword

Now he's lookin' at me, but what for?

Wa-wait a minute, I made you, get them not me

Wait a minute, motherfuckers!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I love this record!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I love this record!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I love this - (turn it off)

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I love this record!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I love this - (turn it off)

Ha, ooh, whoo! Turn it off!

Ha, ooh, whoo! Turn it off!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I love this record!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I love this - (turn it off)

Tell me why? Why do you feel that you should still be together with Lisa?

Sure, c'mon man, our relationship ain't all weak and shit, ya know I mean?

I mean, just because she's dead, we should just break up or somethin'? Fuck that!

Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, listen to me, she's dead, man, you gotta move on

So what! So she's dead, does that make you fresher than her?

I didn't say that

I don't think so! So she don't talk as much and she really don't move around a lot

She's still fresh! She's still fun to be around, you're just prejudiced

Huh?

You're prejudiced against dead people

Aw man, you really are one sick bastard Tommy

Yeah? Fuck off!

What? Fuck off!

What the fuck is that? What does that mean?

It means fuck off!

Man, you fuckin' lost it

Yeah? Fuck off!