歌词
A fine day for the classroom and the pupils are here
Timmy's got a headache, but the others don't care
Sarah's got to stay behind and help with the drill
Teacher's got his eye on her moves in for the kill
Nobody can see or hear the things that they do
All the books are closed, there must be something they do
Only teacher knows about the subjects they span, span
Education's secondary being a school mam
Ooh-ee, teacher's doing fine as far as I can see
Being a school mam, long holidays in the summer
Being a school mam, free milk in your coffee breaks
Being a school mam, government paid monthly salary cheques
Being a school mam, noise is heard, the principal investigates
She turns on all the cameras and it's too late
Catches both their pants down in a passion warm
Hasn't seen it happen since the day she was born
Reaches down for glasses that just can't be found
By the time she finds them why they're down on the ground
Tossing and a-turning, they've got feverish hands
Life can be so fluid when you're being a school mam
Ooh-ee, teacher's doing fine as far as I can see
Being a school mam, controlling promiscuity after hours
Being a school mam, giving out detentions by the dozen
Being a school mam, give her 50 lines (of speed)
Being a school mam
Sucking on her fingernails, she can't believe what she's seen
She seems so engrossed at what appears on the screen
Locks her door with trembling hands, her heart's beating fast
She pretends she's down there on the floor in the class
Gives herself to teacher, although he doesn't know
Works herself into a frenzied state and it shows
Sarah's almost at the top, but try as she can
She can't reach her helter-skelter down with the school mam
Just watch her go and help her try if you can
Use your 20th century imagination, if you've got any
Ooh-ee, now she's at the top and teacher sets her free
Being a school mam, disgusting behavior
Being a school mam, all over the parquet flooring
Being a school mam, let the floodgates open wide
Being a school mam, now the principal collapses dead on the floor
With contentment on her wrinkled old face, ever more
She went out the very best way that an old woman can
She was where the action was, down there with the school man
Ooh-ee, teacher never will discover who could see
Being a school mam, one and one make two if you are very lucky
Being a school mam, two-twos make four if I remember correctly
Being a school mam, four-fours make 16 and 16's over age
16 and 16 make 32, that's approaching middle age
32 and 32 make 64, that's OAP land
64 and 64 make 128
128 divided by three
Let me pause for reflection for a second
But teacher
Three does not go into 128 exactly
But it goes 42 and a bit
43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 49.1, 49.2, 49.3, 49.4, 49.5, 49.6, 49.7
49.8, 49.9, 49.9, 49.9, 49.9, 49.9, 49.9, 49.9, 49.9, 49.9, 50
Written by: Dave Greenfield, Hugh Cornwell, Jean-Jacques Burnel, Jet Black
