Gee, Officer Krupke

Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke

You gotta understand

It's just our bringin' upke

That gets us outta hand

Our mothers all are junkies

Our fathers all are drunks

Golly Moses, naturally we're punks!

Gee, Officer Krupke, we're very upset:

We never had the love that every child oughta get

We ain't no delinquents

We're misunderstood

Deep down inside us there is good!

There is good!

There is good, there is good

There is untapped good!

Like inside, the worst of us is good

That's a touchin' good story. 

Lemme tell it to the world!

Just tell it to the judge. 

Dear kindly Judge, your Honor

My parents treat me rough

With all their marijuana

They won't give me a puff

They didn't wanna have me

But somehow I was had

Leapin' lizards, that's why I'm so bad!

Right!

Officer Krupke, you're really a square

This boy don't need a judge, he needs a analyst's care!

It's just his neurosis that oughta be curbed

He's psychologically disturbed!

I'm disturbed!

We're disturbed, we're disturbed

We're the most disturbed

Like we're psychologically disturbed

Hear ye, hear ye! In the opinion of this court, this child is depraved on account he ain't had a normal home. 

Hey, I'm depraved on account I'm deprived. 

So take him to a headshrinker. 

My father is a bastard

My ma's an S.O.B. 

My grandpa's always plastered

My grandma pushes tea

My sister wears a mustache

My brother wears a dress

Goodness gracious, that's why I'm a mess!

Yes!

Officer Krupke, you're really a slob

This boy don't need a doctor, just a good honest job

Society's played him a terrible trick

And sociologically he's sick!

I am sick!

We are sick, we are sick

We are sick, sick, sick

Like we're sociologically sick!

In my opinion, this child don't need to have his head shrunk at all. Juvenile delinquency is purely a social disease. 

Hey, I got a social disease!

So take him to a social worker!

Dear kindly social worker

They say go earn some dough

Like be a soda jerker—

Which means like be a schmo

It's not I'm anti-social

I'm only anti-work

Gloryosky, that's why I'm a jerk!

Eek!

Officer Krupke, you've done it again

This boy don't need a job, he needs a year in the Pen

It ain't just a question of misunderstood—

Deep down inside him, he's no good!

I'm no good!

We're no good, we're no good!

We're no earthly good

Like the best of us is no damn good!

The trouble is he's lazy

The trouble is he drinks

The trouble is he's crazy

The trouble is he stinks

The trouble is he's growing

The trouble is he's grown

Krupke, we got troubles of our own!

Gee, Officer Krupke, we're down on our knees

'Cause no one wants a fella with a social disease

Gee, Officer Krupke

What are we to do?

Gee, Officer Krupke—

Krup you!