I Wish I Was Back On The Farm

Oh, I wish I was back on the farm

I wish I was back on the farm

If you want to learn your lesson

Just you hear what I'm confessin'

Oh, I wish I was back on the farm

Now when I was just a hayseed

With a straw stuck in my mouth

I packed my bag and took a train

That was headin' for the south

I wandered through the city streets

And everything was new

But all the coppers moved me on

And the girls they moved me too

Now, I wish I was back on the farm

Indeed to goodness, I do, look you

Yes, I wish I was back on the farm

Oh, I do, I do, I do

Where the bulls don't put it over, no

And the cows stop in the clover, look you

I wish I was back on the farm

Indeed I do

Now a pretty girl came up to me

And she began to chat

She said she'd give me something nice

If I'd go up to her flat

I said I'd like a cuppa tea

She seemed to think it odd

And when I said it's time to go

She charged me thirty bob

Oh, I wish I was back on the farm

Yes, I wish I was down on the farm

Where there's fun and plenty of it

And it isn't done for profit

Oh, I wish I was back on the farm

Now I went into a nightclub

Where a lady did a dance

She'd nothing on but pigeons

And she left the rest to chance

She didn't seem to feel the cold

The birds knew where to stay

I clapped my hands and shouted

But they wouldn't go away

Oh, I wish she was back on our farm

Yes, I wish she was back on our farm

She'd have nothing on whatever

'Cause our pigeons aren't that clever

Oh, I wish she was back on our farm