Hello there! I got a letter in the post

Addressed to the previous owner

I don't know how to pronounce their name

I don't think they were from 'round here, you know?

Well, I just moved into the area, yeah

That big old thing over the road

It's a fixer upper though

It's a fixer upper so

We're gonna put poundshop terracotta frogs everywhere

Wrap solar power fairy lights 'round the gutter

I got a prosecco o'clock poster, half price in IKEA

It goes nicely with the existential fear that I feel

When I accidentally wonder

What I'm really doing here?

And how long I've got left before I'm six feet under

I can't believe I'm a two homeowner (Finally!)

Can't believe I'm a two homeowner

I've finally got a nice little drive to call my own

I got off street parking for the Rover

It's a fixer upper though

Yeah, no, not the Rover

The Rover's golden

I'm talking about that big old thing over the road

Yeah, that big old thing over the road

We're gonna knock through the kitchen wall though

Even though it's grade two Tudor

But we're gonna absolutely ruin it

All alright? We can't stand old shite!

It's a fixer upper! (Woo!)

It's a fixer upper!

It's a fixer upper! (Uh)

It's a fixer upper!

Anyway, this letter, I'll just post it back 'return to sender'

Unless you know him, I think...

I think he's called Mr. J. Konopinski?

Oh no wait, that's not an M that's a D

Dr J. Konopinski, do you know him?

Sounds a bit Russian to me, oh, Polish, I see

And he had a PhD did he? What in?

Probably one of them pointless media degrees, not for me

University of life ya see, I got thick skin

School of hard knocks, gonna knock through that wall on Tuesday

In case you or the wife are gonna be in

It's a fixer upper! Ha!

It's a fixer upper!

It's a fixer upper!

Yeah, It's a fixer upper!

Alright mate, sorry about the commotion yesterday

The bloody builders are refusing to finish the job until I pay 'em

But I told 'em, no one pulls a fast one on Graham

I'm Graham by the way, don't know if I mentioned

I told 'em, I'm not made of money, you're having a laugh

Two homes and a Rover, comes from hard graft

I'm not minted, I earnt it

It's not some funny voodoo business

I didn't walk on gilded splinters

To make the dent I did in under a year

I earnt it, In case you're wondering

And as for the builders, yeah, they're Polish

I'm not bothered about that like

But where you come from, says a lot about a man

And I'm not from 'round here, but I am

Also they won't take cash in hand

What's with that? Maybe they wouldn't need the money so bloody fast

If they weren't willingly giving it all to the tax man

You take what you can get where I'm from

And I'm not from round here, but I am

I'm Graham by the way (Hey Graham)

I'm Graham

I'm Graham