Twenty-five, but I feel like I'm thirty-one

Wanna rot in momma's basement

But I'm deemed to pay bills like you

I think I left me in the dugout

Coach got mad, he got ejected

Playing baseball takes no effort

I'm the king of warming benches

So sit down, sit down, sit down

Just take a load off of hatred that you aimed straight at yourself

You can find me at the Walmart in the deli by myself

But I just mustured some dumb words

I'm picking fight giving 'em hell

I wanna smash my only trophy (trophy, trophy)

The kids were laughing when they voted

Said I'm the champ of bowling

Calling me the MVP

I told my sister I was leaving

Said I'm moving to the city

She said home's no place for you

You're leaving nothing that's worth missing

Had to watch my mother cry

I said I hope I make her proud

Then I drove eight fucking hours

Into what would be my hell

I tore the last strand with my father

Now I'm speaking to a stranger

Doing drugs don't feel worth it

If he'll hate me just for saying

I smashed my fucking trophy

The kids were laughing when they voted

Said I'm the champ of smoking

Calling me the MVP