Santa Drives An Astrovan

Reindeer smoking cigarettes on rooftops in fishnets

In the morning with the moon still glowing

And here comes Santa in an Astrovan, rolling down Broad and Pattison

He's stoned while Jerry plays

Said, life ain't ever what it seems

These dreams are more than paper things

And it's alright, Mama, you're afraid

I'll be poor along the way

But I don't wanna see those tears again

You know Santa drives an Astrovan

Yes, he does

He said, "Ooh, ooh"

And in my heart, there's a hole that grows from all the ones I miss the most

Some of the best ones ain't coming home

So if I love under the mistletoe, reaching out for the great unknown

Every reindeer has illusions

Life ain't ever what it seems

These dreams are more than paper things

And it's alright, Mama, you're afraid

I'll be there along the way

And I don't wanna see those tears again

You know Santa drives an Astrovan

Yes, he does

I said, "Ooh, ooh"

When I see those reindeer on the roof

I'll know I've made it, when my

Doobie smoking Santa puts my name up on his nice list

He said, "Son, you're famous in Philly

You'll always be famous in Philly"

And you know you'll always be winning

When you're coming home for Christmas

And I don't wanna see those tears again

You know Santa drives an Astrovan

I don't wanna see those tears again

You know Santa drives an Astrovan