She's Vibrator Dependent

Came home early one night from work

Thought my wife's in bed with a jerk

She's in there with a big piece of plastic

Yelling and screamin' super deluxe creamin'

She don't want my love stick

'Cause she's vibrator dependent, don't want me in it

Says I don't make the right noise

Been replaced by batteries, hey there fellas, can't you see?

She just wants to play with her toys

She don't want to go out and dance

She don't want to get in my pants

Just stay home and vibrate

I'm getting big blisters on my hands

Thinking maybe I ain't a man

Man, she ain't gonna get impregnated

'Cause she's vibrator dependent, don't want me in it

Says I don't make the right noise

Been replaced by batteries, hey there fellas, can't you see?

She just wants to play with her toys

Play with them, honey

There she was, in the bathroom

Sounded like she was shaving her tally whacker with a battery-powered device

Me, I'm prancing around out in the living room

Got the demon jism buildup, I mean, I got a severe case of it

Lot of pressure on my brain, eyeballs turning white

Grabbing my tally whacker all the time

I look her in the eye, and I say, uh, I say

"Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby

Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, please

Yeah, baby, you got something I need, something I want

I want to put my face in the special place"

She says, "What?"

I wanna put my face in the special place, yeah

I wanna get a ring around the face, honey

You know what I'm talking about, when the full moon comes around

She said, "Mojy Wojy, you gotta do something for me if you want to do that"

I said, "What's that, honey?"

She said, "Mojy, know what you got to do?

You know, I got these battery powered things here

And you know I got some things plug into the wall, put 110 volts on my tally whacker

Mojo, I want you to go out to the store

I want you to get me something, something big and ugly

Gigantic vibrator, Vibratorzilla it'd be

And unplug the refrigerator Mojo, get Vibratorzilla, bring it in there

And put 220 on the money, honey"

I said, "Baby, you done gone crazy"

"And then Mojo, you can put your face in the special place

But you're gonna have to, gonna have to

Make a little noise"

Took her down to see a nurse

Cure her of this terrible curse

Doctor said, "Lady, you're afflicted

Ma'am, you got a terrible habit

Now I told you not to grab it

I pronounce you addicted"

She's vibrator dependent, don't want me in it

Says I don't make the right noise

Been replaced by batteries, hey there fellas, can't you see?

She just wants to play with her toys

Yeah, she's vibrator dependent, don't want me in it

Says I don't make the right noise

Been replaced by batteries, hey there fellas, can't you see?

She just wants to play with her toys

She just wants to play with her toys

She's got VD

That's Vibrator Dependency now, isn't it

No, honey, you can't plug my toes into the wall

I ain't gonna hum no more either