She says I'm a beast

Gotta kill me and put me out of her misery

Jerking around like a yo-yo

Like Godzilla walking over Tokyo

Pulling people out of windows and cars

Eating them whole without thinking twice first

Yeah, that's me I guess

But why don't you give it a rest?

She says a lot of things, I'm not surprised

Significant others are inclined to improvise

For example, I'm a closet Don Juan

'Cause I chew on my ice and suck on my gum

I make eyes at all her friends

That irresistible pack of loose ends

I'm already guilty, so I guess I'll confess

If you just give it a rest

She says I'm a misogynist

A selfish, elfish hedonist

That's just a misinterpretation

I slip on my tongue but get a gross exaggeration

I never said Thelma and Louise wasn't gender bending

Tell me Jesus was a woman, I won't contest

You're just incapable of feeling

So you might as well give yourself a rest

I like women, but the liquor is quicker

I get down in the mouth and put my mind in the gutter

I can feel bottomless in a topless bar

'Cause where women are degraded, I can't be far

Yeah, that fits me like a black eye

The biggest mistake you'll ever deny

I'm a jerk and a pissant and a scurvy insect

But at least I loved you, so why won't you give it a rest?