I Wanna Be a Producer

THE ACCOUNTANTS: Unhappy... unhappy.very unhappy Unhappy... unhappy... Very very very very very Very very unhappy BLACK ACCOUNTANT: Oh, I debits all duh mornin' An' I credits all duh eb'nin Until dem ledgers be right LEO & THE ACCOUNTANTS: Until dem ledgers be right I spend my life accounting With figures and such THE ACCOUNTANTS: Unhappy To what is my life amounting It figures, not much THE ACCOUNTANTS: Unhappy I have a secret desire Hiding deep in my soul It sets my heart afire To see me in this role I wanna be a producer With a hit show on Broadway I wanna be a producer Lunch at Sardi's every day I wanna be a producer Sport a top hat and a cane I wanna be a producer And drive those chorus girls insane! I wanna be a producer And sleep until half-past two I wanna be a producer And say, "You, you, you, not you" I wanna be a producer Wear a tux on op'ning nights! I wanna be a producer And see my name "Leo Bloom" in lights! He wants to be a producer Sell it, girls! Of a great big Broadway smash Don't forget the balcony! He wants to be a producer Ev'ry pocket stuffed with cash He wants to be a producer Pinch our cheeks 'til we cry GIRL #1: Ouch! GIRL #2: Eek! GIRL #3: Ooh! GIRL #4: Oh! GIRL #5: Ahh! GIRL #6: Yes! He wants to be a producer With a great big casting couch! I wanna be... He wants to be... I wanna be... He wants to be... I wanna be the greatest, grandest And most fabulous producer in the world He wants to be a producer He wants to dine with a duchess and a duke I just gotta be a producer Drink champagne until I puke Drink champagne 'til he pukes! I wanna be a producer Show the world just what I've got I'm gonna put on shows That will enthrall 'em GIRLS & LEO: Read my name in Winchell's column! I wanna be a producer 'Cause it's everything I'm not THE ACCOUNTANTS: Unhappy... unhappy... So unhappy LEO & THE ACCOUNTANTS: Very very very very very very very... THE ACCOUNTANTS: ...sad I wanna be a producer Hold everything! What I am I doing here? Mr. Bialystock was right! There is a lot more to me than there is to me! Stop the world, I wanna get on! Bloom, where do you think you're going? Mr. Marks, I've got news for you. I quit! Here's my visor... my Dixon Ticonderoga number two pencil... and my big finish! I'm gonna be a producer Sound the horn and beat the drum I'm gonna be a producer Look out Broadway, here I come!! GIRLS & ACCOUNTANTS: Broadway, here he comes!