Comprehensive Evaluation (Skit)

Hey buddy, come in and have a seat Your mom told me you didn't want to come in and see me today Because of our last conversation And I apologize, buddy, I really do I shouldn't have lashed out like that I was out of character I mean, you're only eight years old And I had no business talking to you that way So I wanted to extend a very sincere apology to you You think we can be friends and get over this? I guess so That-a-boy And I promise, from this day forward That if you don't act like a little fucking retard and piss me off again I won't lash out like that There's consequences for everything, Joyner You act like a little prick You get the mean doctor you don't wanna see It's that simple Now, mom tells me you don't really like the prescription I gave you Not really Well, what if I told you that I have a prescription That you can't get at the pharmacy? Like what? You ever used cocaine, Joyner? What's that? How about lean? I never heard of it Give me your backpack Why? I'm gonna put a few things in there for you And I guarantee this will take all your ADHD away for good How's that sound? Um It'll be our little secret I'm not sure about this Don't tell mom If you do, no more treatment for you