Miracle

My mummy says I'm a miracle My daddy says I'm his special little guy I am a princess, I am a prince Mum says I'm an angel sent down from the sky My daddy says I'm his special little soldier No one is as bold or tough as me Has my daddy told you? One day when I'm older I can be a soldier and punch you in the face Take another picture of our pumpkin from this angle over here I know we oughtn't say this, but she's clearly cuter than her peers What a dear! Yoo-hoo, honey, look at mummy Try not to vomit on your brother Now smile for mummy, smile for mother I think she blinked, well, take another Have you seen what he can do? Is that unusual for day two? Is smilin' early, not a sign of an exceptional IQ She's just delightful, so intuitive, so insightful Might he be a little brighter than the norm? I know to say it's frightful form (Take another picture) My mummy says I'm a miracle One look at my face, and it's plain to see Ever since the day doctor chopped the umbilical cord It's been clear, there's no peer for a miracle like me My mummy says I'm a miracle That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball You can be all cynical, but it's a truth empirical There's never been a miracle, as factually, spectacularly Actually, miraculously Fabulous, a miracle as me A baby? I'm not having a baby, what on Earth gives you that idea? I'm not listenin' to this, this is quackery But, you're about to give birth Are you out of your mind? Mrs. Wormwood, you're having a contraction I'm not having contractions! Contractions are for pregnant woman, who are having babies I'm having a little stinkin' baby! Every life, I bring into this world Restores my faith in humankind (I'm not worried) Each newborn life, a canvas yet unpainted Their still unbroken skin, their uncorrupted minds Every little life is unbelievably unlikely Their chances of existence, almost infinitely small The most common thing in life is life And yet, every single life Every new life is a miracle (miracle) What? A girl What? You mean my son is a girl? I mean that your daughter is a girl Yeah, but the balloons, doctor, I mean, the balloons, they say a boy Mr. Wormwood, your wife has just given birth To a beautiful, healthy, happy little girl She's perfect This is fantastic news Why do bad things always happen to good people? Fine upstanding citizens, like you and me Why, when we've done nothing wrong Should this disaster come along? This horrible (miracle) Weird looking (miracle) Hairy, little stinky thing With no sign of a winky-ding at all Every life is a miracle Every life is a miracle Every life is a miracle My mummy says I'm a miracle One look at my face, and it's plain to see Ever since the day doctor chopped the umbilical cord It's been clear, there's no peer, for a miracle like me My mummy says I'm a miracle That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball You can be all cynical, but it's a truth empirical There's never been a miracle, a miracle as, a miracle as My mummy says I'm a lousy little worm My daddy says I'm a bore My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ That kids like me should be against the law My daddy says I should learn to shut my pie hole No one likes a smart-mouthed girl like me Mum says I'm a good case for population control Dad says I should watch more TV