The Waitress Song

Hi, how're you doing? Just a, ah... big breakfast and a large black coffee, thanks Cheers I love you And there's a place I go for breakfast every afternoon The coffee's rubbish and the bacon's always hard to chew And the toast is always soggy But I hardly notice And the food takes such a long time to get made Even when I'm the only person in the café And my table's always wobbly But I hardly notice You're probably thinking, why would I even bother eating there On a daily basis? There's heaps of other places on offer I won't change to another place if the bacon is rubber And the taste of the cuppa makes you pull faces and splutter It's the waitress, I love her, the way she clears plates with a clutter Makes my heart race and it flutters, I know it's crazy to love a Lady that's basically just a stranger with an apron down her Brother, I don't need to ask her name and number 'Cause this relationship is built on breakfast I'm waiting on her just to wait on me And there's a place I go for breakfast every afternoon The coffee's rubbish and the bacon's always hard to chew And the toast is always soggy But I hardly notice And the food takes such a long time to get made Even when I'm the only person in the café And my table's always wobbly But I hardly notice She says "Hi" to me, "Bye" to me, "That'll be five-ninety-five" to me I don't really mind, that's all right with me I just smile and eat, sometimes we mightn't speak for like a week She knows during my quiet times I like to be alone And write a poem with my headphones Newspaper, bacon fried up, poached egg, slice of toast A long black, but the beans are always burnt And if the cup is dirty, she just cleans it with her shirt I wonder if she's my ideal girl And what would happen if we dated in the real world Nah, I don't think it would work I wouldn't wanna risk what we have and have to tip 'cause of that Besides, this relationship is built on breakfast I'm waiting on her just to wait on me And there's a place I go for breakfast every afternoon The coffee's rubbish and the bacon's always hard to chew And the toast is always soggy But I hardly notice And the food takes such a long time to get made Even when I'm the only person in the café And my table's always wobbly But I hardly notice And it don't matter that the bacon I eat's cold And it's okay the newspapers are weeks old But I don't mind, no, it's fine 'cause she's all That I'm there for And it don't matter that the bacon I eat's cold And it's okay the newspapers are weeks old But I don't mind, no, it's fine 'cause she's all That I'm there for And there's a place I go for breakfast every afternoon The coffee's rubbish and the bacon's always hard to chew And the toast is always soggy But I hardly notice And the food takes such a long time to get made Even when I'm the only person in the café And my table's always wobbly But I hardly notice