My Father's a Homo / Everyone Tells Jason to See a Psychiatrist

My father's a homo My mother's not thrilled at all Father homo: What about chromosomes? Do they carry? Will they carry? Who's the homo now? My father said that one day I'll grow to be president And that idea's not so wild I don't live the life of a normal child 'Cause I'm too smart for my own good And I'm too good for my sorry little life My mother's no wife And my fathers no man No man at all! Honey, why don't you go out and play? No Sweetheart I worry Sweetheart I do I worry a lot I worry a lot I worry a lot I could take you to the Jewish center? I think you like playing chess alone That's not normal What is normal? I wouldn't know Why don't you speak on the telephone With anyone, just get a friend- Anyone Darling, please a psychiatrist He's quite a guy And I admire how he acts No one is saying you're a sick neurotic But you could find some help Hear me out, please Yes, you could find some help He could help you realize How confused you are! Yes, it's very clear: Daddy's sincere But a schmo! You and I must trust our emotions Make no commotions Will you go? No! Jason, please see a psychiatrist He's just a psychiatrist I'll pay the bill Until You're old Jason Please see A psychiatrist He's just A psychiatrist I'll pay the Bill Until You're old Darling please listen To your father here He's not a genius type Lord knows, but he Knows whats true He chose a man who I Think knows the answers To all your problems Mendel understands What's bothering you No I won't go I will not go Never never Never never Never Forget it What a mess this is This family! Experts can see This is so! Photographs can't Capture our magic We're simply tragic! Will you go? No Jason, please see a psychiatrist! He's not- I won't say boo! -exorbitant And he's very smart! If intelligence were the only criterion Then I wouldn't really need a psychiatrist, would I? No Would I? No Just because you failed as parents... ...Get thee to a psychiatrist! Hey, kid, listen- I don't need- He needs a psychiatrist! I want- A psychiatrist! I wanna speak with Whizzer! Speak with whom? With Whizzer With Whizzer? With Whizzer With Whizzer Oh my god Whizzer! Whizzer! Whizzer! Whizzer! Whizzer, do you think I should see a psychiatrist? I'm not sure, Jason Jason, maybe so Absolutely, Jason ...OK, I'll go He'll go I'll go He'll go! If he comes here If he comes here? He might come here They don't make house calls