I've been to Hell, I spell it, I spell it "D-M-V"

Anyone that's been there knows precisely what I mean

Stood there and I've waited, and choked back the urge to scream

And if I had my druthers, I'd screw a chimpanzee

Call it pointless

When I need relief, I spell it "T-H-C"

Perhaps you may know vaguely what I mean

I sit back and smoke away huge chunks of memory

As I slowly inflict upon myself a full lobotomy

Call it pointless

Pointless

Barbecues, tea kettles, gobs of axle grease

There comes a time for every man to sail the seas of cheese

Now, life's a bowl of bagel dogs, but there are unpleasantries

Cold toilet seats, dentist chairs, and trips to DMV

Call it pointless

Pointless

I've been to Hell, I spell it, I spell it "D-M-V"

Anyone that's been there knows precisely what I mean

I've stood in line and waited near an hour and fifteen

And if I had my druthers, I'd screw that chimpanzee

Call it pointless

Pointless

Pointless