Waiting by the bar for an hour and a half

When I heard this geezer shouting “You just can’t get the staff!”

Cos he smokes when he drinks and he drinks when he smokes

Now he’s getting all wound up like he was provoked

Saying “Calm down mate, it was just a joke!

I’ve got a foreign mate, he’s a lovely bloke,

All you kids these days are way too woke,

You can’t say anything nowadays”

I’ve got mates in all the wrong places

Can’t put names to all of their faces

Propping up bars and wasting their wages

Aged 10 years but nothing else changes

Burst bubble, now I’m seeing double

He was looking for trouble, yeah cracking his knuckles

That boy needs a muzzle after he’s had a drink

Cos a minute is a second when you stop and you think

Yeah we’ve all had enough

Yeah I know that you’re pissed

Cos he acts proper tough, it don’t mean that he is

And the next think I know, yeah he swung and he missed

Shit

I’ve got mates in all the wrong places

Can’t put names to all of their faces

Propping up bars and wasting their wages

Aged 10 years but nothing else changes

I’ve got mates in all the wrong places

Can’t put names to all of their faces

Propping up bars and wasting their wages

Aged 10 years but nothing else changes