I Tried...(I'm Trying)

I just I just need to get some things off my chest Yeah My life is insane Too many ways I tried numbing the pain Too many ways I tried cutting my veins Too many secrets that's hard to contain I was a mess the moment I breathed Hard to find happiness hard to be free Dying seems better cause I can't find peace The more that I care the quicker they leave What can I do It's hard to survive Give 'em my all while I'm broken inside Hiding my feelings so they can be fine Don't care about me so I'm not surprised Feel I'm a victim of being abandoned I learned on my own I had to take action Expressing my feelings get taken for granted Say that they hear me but I know they cappin Hard to find purposes all of this nervousness Lungs is collapsing heart failure permanent Leave me to die my life isn't worth all this Leave me to die my life isn't worth all this Know that you'll tell me there's reasons for living For 25 years my living was different I was put here for giving and giving Not to receive just giving and giving Tired of hurtin my heart keeps on burnin Only my got me and I know that for certain And nobody cares I know that for certain And no one was there I know that for certain Please understand I gave it my all I tried to break through no matter the walls The more I go up the quicker I fall More that I go up the quicker I fall I tried I tried I tried I tried I swear I tried I tried Look Nobody listens Expressing my feelings but nobody listens I tell em I'm hurtin but nobody listens I tell em I'm done they keep on living I get it I get it I promise I get it They never loved you not from the beginning Yeah they were pretending to love you I get it Fuck all they feelings cause they hurt my feelings I'm trying to push to find a new way It's hard to move on and let go of the pain I thought I found happiness it was too late I learned it ain't for me cause it never stays Fuck bout my life I tried to die twice Taking the pills and one by the knife Pills to the head and one by the knife Pills to the chest and one by knife You hear what I'm saying? Bout taking my life? Killing myself? I know it ain't right The pain doesn't stop It's killing my life The pain never stops It's killing my life But I'm gonna try To do what it is right To care bout my life Cause you never tried I'm gonna make sure I try to survive I'll never lose my life to suicide This isn't pride I just wanna try Fuck everybody I just wanna try I'll never hide no I'll never hide Do what I got to with god on my side God do you hear me can you hear my cries God do you hear me can you hear my cries I promise I tried and I'll keep on trying Promise I tried and I'll keep on trying I'm trying I'm trying I'm trying I'm trying I swear I'm trying I'm trying I'm trying