The Hammer

I believe that . . . Matilda Wormwood is an exception . . . to the rules An exception. To the rules. In my school? Look at these trophies See how my trophies gleam in the sunlight? See how they shine? What do you think it took to become English Hammer Throwing Champion 1969? Do you think in that moment, when my big moment came That I treated the rules with casual disdain? Well? Like hell! As I stepped up to the circle, did I change my plan? Hm? What? As a chalked up my palms, did I wave my hands? I did not! As I started my spin, did I look at the view? Did I drift off and dream for a minute or two? Do you think I faltered or amended my rotation? Do you think I altered my intended elevation? As the hammer took off, did I change my grunt From the grunt I had practiced for many a month? Not a jot! Not a dot did I stray from the plot Not a detail of my throw was adjusted or forgotten Not even when the hammer left my hands And sailed high up, up above the stands Did I let myself go No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no . . . no If you want to throw the hammer for your country You have to stay inside the circle all the time And if you want to make the team You don't need happiness or self-esteem You just need to keep your feet inside the line Sing, children. Two, three, four If you want to throw the hammer for your country Bambinatum est magitum You have to stay inside the circle All the time Circulum, maggitum, maggitum And if you want to teach success You don't use sympathy or tenderness Tenderness You have to force the little squits to toe the line! Sing, Jenny! Two, three, four! If you want to throw the hammer for your country Bambinatum! Bambinatum! Gloria Magitum! You have to stay inside the circle all the time Circulum est Deus! Deus! Apply just one simple rule To hammer throwing, life, and school – Life's a ball, so learn to throw it Find the bally line and toe it And always keep your feet inside the line! Now get out