Roast and Rebuttal

(Commentator)

Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello!

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the main event of the evening.

And it’s unlike any other rap battle you’ve ever seen. Definitely not from the underground. Very personal!

Zachary Chapman Vs. The Inner-CRITIC!

(Inner-Critic)

Hello old friend, gotta admit, you look weird with a confident smile on your face. But don’t worry, I’ll wipe it off soon enough!

(Zach)

Hahaha, You wish!

(Inner-Critic)

It’s on!

(Commentator)

DJ, Spin it!

(Inner-Critic)

Your back online, but not for long.

It’s time to turn decommission on.

Been running since six, so what have you missed?

A chance to exist and go fully live.

You’re scared of it all, stuck in the school walls.

With your ears closed, they all laugh and you fall.

Autistic freak who never had a chance.

So I’m gonna show truth to your falsly advance.

(Zach)

Okay Imma stop you there. this ain’t solitaire.

You once had truth, now it’s lost the flare.

You can talk all dark, with a real deep stare, and I’ll still look back, and say truth or dare.

What’s wrong dude? your eyes look huge.

Do you really think I’m still scared of you?

On top of world, enjoying the views, with a wife alongside, so with you I’ll snooze.

It has been a bit, so here’s some news.

I got married dude, cut back on the food.

I’ve got a great career, with a promising view.

Those school wall hoots, now my cash queue.

You have any idea, the feel of my shoes?

The balance I have, the glorious cruise?

All you remember is now yours to lose.

I’d keep that mouth shut, if I were you.

I’m a miracle story, both before and after.

I’m nothing like you, I matter and I’m faster.

When you know it’s brewed, the prep’s no actor.

I’m the leading cause for your evil’s compactor.

Am I perfect? no! but I’m definitely better.

So keep up the story, “you buried my treasure.”

I hope that you know, you’re done at the center.

You had your chance, now it’s return to sender.

(Inner Critic)

All of what you saying are the words you cannot follow.

And it’s true your gonna see that all your odds at the bottom.

You can picture in your head about the feeling of an offer.

But you’ll never score the catch and you’ll be lying in the coffin.

Waking up and every morning feeling deadly like the walking.

Gotta look at how it is cause what you claiming is preposterous.

Know exactly what I’m saying don’t go try to start up talking.

You’ll be dead by your own handy work before you prove that calling.

You look out of breath little man.

You came here to win? Sorry, change of plan.

You can stand on this stage, and try to be a man.

But a dub against me, you lost your chance.

You came all this way, just again to lose.

And boy was it fun to watch you bust a bruise.

A comeback from you, son, your old news.

No surprise you lost your momma, dude.

Should’ve taken the leap when it would’ve mattered.

Your prayers to God just might’ve been answered.

You think you changed, but you’re still a hazard.

I mean, look out in the crowd, they seem flattered?

They don’t to me, cause you got this backward.

Can’t take the heat, cause your under-standard.

Next time it hurts, don’t settle for fracture.

Safety off, one round, it’ll be much fas……..

(Zach)

NEVER!!

You’re lies are done, and so are mine.

I saw the light, you just saw a line.

You did your crime, you got no more time.

Let’s watch as I rise and you decline.

Took a leap of faith, and I left my home.

Found myself up north, all on my own.

I survived a trench, and I got to roam.

Built a foundation, I’m in my zone.

Got back to songs, and got back to work.

While you just stand there, and be a jerk.

You ain’t slick inner-critic, your a piece of work.

And unlike you, don’t dwell on my quirks.

I’m unstoppable and much lighter-weight.

Your hits and your face still reek of pre-k.

Next time you’re tempted by small propaganda,

just do not forget, WHO BROUGHT US TO ATLANTA?!

(Commentator)

OHHHHHHH!

Zachary Chapman, it is unanimous, you take the win!

Thank y’all for coming to tonights event. Get home safe!

(Inner-Critic)

One win, doesn’t make you any better Zach. This is not over. We will be back here again!

(Zach)

Oh I’m counting on it. Only this time around, I won’t be the one losing all the trophies.

Goodnight!