There was a bounty hunter in the depths of space

And she could easily combine your stupid ass with your face

Her name was Samus Aran, and she would destroy Metroids

When she wasn't totally pissed she was extremely annoyed

She stood up to every challenge, no matter however demanding

And her courage was amazing and her boobies were outstanding!

What?!

Uh, nothing, I was just saying that you're brave!

Um, OK, hey look over there – it's Kraid!

I'm the strongest dragon that you've ever seen

You're gonna die, motherfucker, I take up five screens!

I'm gonna swallow you whole and then you'll go down easy

Then you'll be digested and converted to feces

I'll take off your helmet, see the fear in your eyes

And your beautiful hair, and your well-toned thighs

And your pillowy lips, and wait, you're not a guy?

Is that a problem, you fuck?

Uh, no. Prepare to die!

Kraid was hesitating, but Samus was set to fight

She got into a battle stance that made her butt look super tight

Then Kraid said "No, wait, I think there has been a gigantic mistake

I actually just wanted to give you some desserts that I baked!"

But Samus said

What pisses me off most in this world

Is when enemies get nice when they all find out I'm a girl

So do me a favor and take your cakes and your pies

And shove them so far up your ass

That they end up behind your eyes!

Stop treating me like I'm a sex object

Mother Brain's a woman, but she gets respect

Yeah Kraid, you never talk to me that way!

Oh, gosh, I wonder if it's because you're a huge disgusting brain?

Get the fuck off my planet, this is your last chance

I'm gonna go ahead and slide out of my pants

That's it, you're all fuckin' dead

What?! This room feels stuffy!

By the way, do you like puppies? Here's a basket of puppies!

(BOOM)

Whoops, killed the puppies