*Inaudible noise*

Mm, mm, yeah

*Clears throat*

Look, you lost this heart, and you know I ain't okay

I'll cut the world out if I don't know what to say

They that It gets better, that it'll be okay

But I don't wanna talk, get the fuck up out my face

I'm twenty two, and I'm not happy with the life I live

I watch my friends, they're buyin' houses, gettin' married, they're all havin' kids

And I'm stuck here just wonderin' what I did

Like why can't I be happy, why's depression always here

I talk to God, like, "What I'm always hurtin' for?"

Every time I try to fix it, it just hurts me more

I stay lyin' to myself, and I say that I'm okay

But it's so hard to find myself, 'cause I don't know what I'm searchin' for

I feel so numb, but at the same time, I'm hurtin'

I want to love myself, but my heart don't even work

'Cause in my head, I'm drownin' with depression, I'm submerged

Always screamin' out for help, but I'm always left unheard

I feel like no one really cares about my feelings

Sometimes, I drink until I'm numb, so I don't feel this

They ask me why I run away, instead of healin' it

But what's the point in talkin'? They wouldn't understand my reasons

Poppin' pain killers, nothing's really a pain killer

My best friend lost her life, she let the pain kill her

She was dealt some bad cards, and Satin was the dealer

I can't blame her, she just thought that the drugs healed her

But I can't blame her, this pain, it get's so heavy, I just want to break

What's the point in life? I'm dyin' every day

'Cause this pain inside my chest, it don't ever go away

I stay locked inside my mind, and I just want to escape

And I don't want to talk about it, should be told I'm embarrassed

Trauma that's inside of me, it's passed down from my parents

They'd probably throw me in a straight jacket if I ever was to share this

I ain't even rappin', this me cryin' if you hear this

This the word of a man who's close to giving up

I'm tired of fightin' all these demons, I don't give a fuck!

I'll never give away my heart away again, man, I've had enough

I never that the one who hurt me, would be the person that I love, damn

I'm so detached from reality, it sickens me

I'm not okay with bein' sad, I just pretend to be

'Cause I ain't been okay, since the day she walked away

And I don't want opinions, you'll never know how much she meant to me

I've been fightin' since you left, 'cause you shield me

I said I'd give you everything if it kills me

'Cause if lovin' you is wrong, lock me up, 'cause I'm guilty

Right now I'm not okay, but, eventually I will be, ah

I hate writin', but I'm deep inside my mind again

Every time I think about you, I just cry again

Maybe in another life we can try again

So, I pull the trigger quick, and hope, one day, I get to try again

*Gunshot*