Grudges / 4:30AM (feat. Deja Solo)

See, I've been known for holding grudges

And as long as they stay public

Ain't no subject I would try to withhold

I got my reasons

**** dap you with a greeting

And call you brother while you eating

Then turn around and stab your back when you low

They can't be loyal, only winners get the spoils

And for that, they gon' destroy you

While they spinning all they straw into gold

That made me violent, but I'm older now and smiling

I speak volumes with this silence

**** lucky I been preaching 'bout growth

I wasn't ready

What I was picking up was heavy

And I would lift if they let me, honestly

That's how I was raised

If it's broken, I'ma fix it

If it's mine, then we gon' split it

It's a given

**** glitching if they try to betray

I been trying to keep my mind up in a positive place

Then I realized what it takes

Been cutting beef, I see the size of the stakes

I planted seeds and saw my crops get erased

I fight for mine 'til this day

It's no surprise, I know what lies in wait

Oh, Lordy, troubles so high

Oh, Lord, I need you by my side

Don't nobody know my troubles but God

Don't nobody know my troubles but God

Yo, yo, peep game

I been thinking 'bout my life

And all the wrongs I couldn't right

I roll the dice and let the gamble begin

Somewhere deep within my consciousness

I keep my broken promises anonymous

I promise there's a plan to repent

But I got lost within my selfishness

While I was finding reasons for my grievance

I was deep into a helpless descent

Got some monsters that I conquered

I been screaming at my demons

At the time, I just really couldn't handle my sins

It's 4:30 in the a.m

Now my writtens turn to praying

I'm debating if I should sleep or get this off of my chest

I couldn't rest if I tried, I'm only flesh

I leave the rest up to God

My heart's pounding, that's been part of my stress

I brought a lot to the table

I fortify what I'm able

Organic-labeled food for thought

Is kinda hard to digest

Because I'm yet to be proud of the place I'm at

In my life 'cause I made a mess

But I guess I'm cleaning all of what's left

Oh, Lordy, troubles so high

Oh, Lord, I need you by my side

Don't nobody know my troubles but God

Don't nobody know my troubles but God