Stop, Watch and Laugh

The hardest part about the end of the game is that I was never able to say goodbye

I was never able to tell you how much you meant to me

How much I loved you

And how much life would be hard without you

And as you were ripped away from me by the people that we called our family

Betrayed by the people that we called our family

I knew I would never see you again

I don't know how to go on without you

I'll never be the same

Took a full on wallopin while they watched high on Klonopin

Half dead 20 something rap heads screaming at a wall again

Romantic visions of addiction lingering ever more

Most of them weren't even born when Kurt's brains hit greenhouse floor

Now he lives under dirt and on their t shirts

They ask how to build careers

I say stupidity and work

They ask me something about market research

Now there's another funeral fundraiser for a rap child of 19

Bright eyed face tattooed with a brain full of pipe dreams

Came on a flight for fame

This game baby might sting

Many stars stayed in the play till the day that their lights dimmed

Wish I could contribute to their mother's go fund me

Wish I could contribute to every mother's go fund me

Today we barely react when we see another young rap cat gun clapped in the back

Maybe a mural on the wall or a half hearted hashtag

On to the next label puppet wearing a permanent ink mask

Hoping feelings don't show through the cracks of a short childhood past

Everybody in the entourage is strapped

And the public loves it from behind the safety of their phones and Macs

On another screen there's a drone attacking in Iraq

But none of it ever feels like it actually happened

So we sit back watch and laugh

Depression's not a shock to the system

More like constant swimming in a swamp with a brick watch on each wrist

While somebody's snickering at our faults

During an obnoxiously taunting jaunt

That feels as if it'll only stop when life is finally lost

Paid the cost

Fucking hate it

Debilitating

Found myself figure skating around problems in a public pond

Blah blah blah

Am I another mumbling fraud

Maybe

The sign says mind your head but it's already half gone

I'll admit lost my mind a bit since you've gone

I'll never be the same

I love you

I miss you