Remember that your mummy had you chained to your cot

And that your favourite dummy was your Grandaddy's cock

Sister's in her brother's bed playing with his middle leg,

Uncle's got a funny head, mummy's laid another egg

Go stay in Mongleton where its OK to tongue your mum

They like deformities- keep it in the family

Baby's got no lungs and is breathing through its gills,

No need to bung it straight in the landfill

If you've just discovered that your mother shagged your brother

If your new relation resembles a crustacean

Fuck off to Mongleton, suck off your youngest son

Granny shagged a chimpanzee, but keep it in the family

Your uncle's spunk'll leave a mess on your daughter's party dress

You thought that Grandad was a poof:- he got your sister up the duff

Granny's fanny's old and dry but her daddy doesn't mind

Mummy's tummy grows and grows with your brother's embryos

Granny keeps her fry in the gusset of her knickers,

and shoos away the flies by waving both her flippers

Baby's got a hairy back, it lives up in a tree

Squirting pus from anal sacks and showers us with wee

All board for Mongleton, Your In laws have got no thumbs

All change at Mongleton, They all look strange but they're having fun

Get down to Mongleton the one town you can bum your son

The place where they point at planes and incest is quite mundane

Few genes in Mongleton – its routine to come in your mum

Sprog's got abnormalities- keep it in the family