(One, two -- one, two, three, four)

Watching daytime TV

One of those obscene I'm-fat-it's-your-fault sessions

One fat guy crying, spilling his beans now

Enter the therapist

Well, she can't speak for crying too

P.C. -- play hopscotch through a minefield

P.C. -- know it, easy cheesy pleasy speak

Some geek from the gender sanitation police

Will wash my mouth out and throw me over in mud

Well, they locked me up for the serial murders

Of a dozen TV talk show hosts

I get a lot of mail now from well-wishers

The thing that bothers me is the audience is still huge

P.C. -- play hopscotch through a minefield

P.C. -- that easy cheesy pleasy speak

Some geek from the gender sanitation police

Will wash my mouth out and throw me over in mud

P.C. --

P.C. -- go tag it, bag it, wrap it up

Some freak from the pardon-me police

Will sever my tongue now and strap me to a cactus

Never said it was a crime

Thought I was doing you a favour

It's just the body language -- snap!

How can you tell it like it is anymore?

P.C. -- your free choice in a minefield

P.C. -- go tag it, bag it, wrap it up

Some freak from the pardon-me-Jesus police

Severed my tongue now and tied me to a cactus

I had to turn it off

Had to clean it all up

For you to rise above it

They locked me up

That's what I call conviction

Turn it off

Clean it up

For you to rise above it...