Have One On Me

From the courtyard, I floated in and watched it go down

Heard the cup drop thought

Well that's why they keep them around

The blackguard sat hard

Down with no head on him now

And I felt so bad

'Cause I didn't know how to feel bad enough

To make him proud

By the time you read this I will be so far away

Daddy longlegs, how in the world am I to be expected to stay?

In the night

In the night, you may hear me call

Pa, stay your hand and steel your resolve

Stay where you are

So long and tall

Here's Lola ta-da to-do

Her famous spider dance for you

Lighten up your pockets

Shake her skirts and scatter, there

A shrieking, six-legged millionaire

With a blight in his sockets

Miss Montez the Countess of Lansfeld

Appealed to the King of Bavaria

Saying, "Pretty papa if you are my friend

Mister daddy longlegs, they are at it again!

Can I see you?"

Poor Lola, a tarantula's mounting

Countess Lansfeld's handsome brassiere

While they all cheer

And the old king fell from grace

While Lola fled

To save face and her career

You caught a fly, floating by

Wait for him to drown in the dust

Drown in the dust of other flies

Whereby the machine is run

And the deed is done

Heaven has no word

For the way you and your friends

Have treated poor Louis

May God save your poor soul, Lola

But there is nothing I adore

Apart from that whore's black heart

Well, doesn't that just beat all Miss Gilbert

Called to Castlemaine

By the silver dollar and the gold glitter

Well, I've seen lots

But never, in a million years

Would think to see you, here

Though the long road

Begins and ends with you

I cannot seem to make amends

With you, Louis

When we go out

They're bound to see you with me

At night, I walk in the park

With a whip

Between the lines

Of the whispering Jesuits

Who are poisoning you against me

There's a big black spider

Hanging over my door

Can't go anywhere, anymore

Tell me, are you with me?

I called to you, several times

While the change took place

And then arrived, all night

And I died

But all these songs

When you and I are long gone

Will carry on

Mud in your eye

You asked my hand

Hired a band

"In your heart is all that you need

Ask and you will receive," it is said

I threw my bouquet

And I knocked 'em dead

Bottle of white, bottle of red

Helpless as a child

When you held me in your arms

And I knew that no other

Could ever love me as you loved

Love me as you loved

But help me, I'm leaving!

I remember everything

Down to the sound of you shaving

The scrape of your razor

The dully-abrading black hair

That remains

When you clutched at me

That night I came upstairs, half-dead

And, in your kindness

You put me straightaway

In the cupboard

With a bottle of champagne

And then, later, on the train

It was dark out, I was half-dead

I saw a star fall into the sky

Like a chunk of thrown coal

As if God himself spat

Like a cornered rat

I really want you to do this for me

Will you have one on me?

It was dark; I was drunk and half-dead

And we slept, knocking heads

Sitting up in the star-smoking air

Knocking heads like buoys

Don't you worry for me!

Will you have one on me!

Meanwhile, I will raise my own glass

To how you made me fast

And expendable

And I will drink to your excellent health

And your cruelty

Will you have one on me?

Helpless as a child

When you held me in your arms

And I knew that no other

Could ever love me

From the courtyard, I floated in

And watched it go down

Heard the cup drop

Thought, "Well, that's why

They keep them around"

The blackguard sat hard, down

With no head on him now

And I felt so bad

'Cause I didn't know how

To feel bad enough

To make him proud

Well daddy longlegs, are you?

Daddy longlegs, are you?

Daddy longlegs, are you proud?