Keep Livin

I'm feeling numb, thinking of changing my name to Crystal Meth Playin' this game, holding my mic like a pistol: aiming at death But I love nobody, alone in this world that's how I came in it But shit could flash and reverse the same in a minute I don't even love life no more, my niggas, I just live it And I don't love love, all the hurting is infinite I cry myself to sleep sometimes, wept a gallon of tears From malice, divorce meets to lost peers Drowning in a haze of smoke and glasses that never ran empty Bottles of Sojo, cheap vodka and twenty; twenty Spending my pennies for thoughts on quarts of henneything Got none pain like the movie have plenty Like a shotgun, double barrel fully loaded ready to blow I wanna turn around and aim at myself Been feeling my health I hardly even eat no more My lunch is munchies from the corner store: tropical fantasy Me and my family, me and my niggas used to be tight And now we see each other on the block with no pound Keep it moving you gotta move on. I know I'm doing it right I'm still livin' hustling life, and still here [Hook] For all my niggas that smoke a pack a day For all my niggas hold the bottle drink the pain away What type of life is this? For all my niggas that getn' the cash And all my niggas that chill on the av Lets keep livin' For all my niggas drink the pain away For all my niggas smoke a pack of Newports a day What type of life is this? For all my niggas that getn' the cash And all my niggas that chill on the av Lets keep livin' Grew up as a, child of an alcoholic, sister to schizophrenic Already inherited one and they both a genetic When sun falls I gets no sleep Nights are filled with party and bullshit Bacardi and full clip Just to deal with it I got a full heart, but don't feel with it no more I got fury of a woman scorned Just live my life like the x-files and trust nobody Forgetting everyone, and now I'm just forgetting the money Funny how shit can change and switch up fragile to whip on you Spent too much of my young life just trying to stitch shit up I'm living day by day now Every step is play by play hand to mouth I'm just trying to make the moments count Eyes weak stressing my soul Chest roll from a heavy smoking addict since nine: a nicotine addict Devoted at it but still, I need some kinda relief I quit the trees at least I'm learning niggas but I'm slow at it Always give my motherfuckers the benefit of the doubt But it seems that everybody is just out for self I used to love her, but now I gotta make her work for my wealth I gotta eat From rappin' to nicotine Niggas will clap and niggas will fiend From some shit I never seen to everything I been through It's like, loosing the love of your life twice in the same night Being deaf for years, gained your hearing and loosing your sight Tryin to shine, but just getting eclipse I'm just tryin to find the perfect words to fall from my lips Thinking too hard about what shit has fallen, mainly the chips Hoping by the next time installment that I'm not attempting to slit wrists Work my way up from the bottom to the Top of the ladder, claim what's rightfully mine Working against time, it's been too long And I haven't had a chance to leave y'all yet: I apologize Getting older and wiser, seen the picture painted My destiny faded for this, and not for easy times I put my heart in these rhymes always Love it or, leave it or ready to die? Yeah I'm ready