Defribillator (Mixed)

Defibrillator Written and read by me: Alex Kapranos I didn't know Big Jamesy that well He hung about with McPherson, my flatmate I met him on Christmas day when I worked a shift at the 13th Note He sat at the end of the bar, drinking and drinking Until he threw up over it. Watery spew dripping onto the pint glasses on the shelf below Christmas day Thanks Jamesy McPherson was the star of the Glasgow easy listening revival Spinning Klaus Wunderlich and Peters and Lee records And a kipper tie and polyester suit Smellig of Oxfam And Brut for men "Let's get a band together! It'll be great! Big Jamesy can play guitar. He's rrrrrreally good" "Okay I'll ask Baldy Keith to come down and play drums He's got a band as well" So I was back in the basement at the 13th Note with Big Jamesy, McPherson and Baldy Keith We didn't have a name Any songs Or any idea of what we were going to do other that it was going to be "Rrrrrrreally heavy" Big Jamesy looked like one of those late Ramones You know those guys that came in to play the drums Or the bass when Dee Dee had gone off to rap Leather jacket, black bowl cut, surly stoop and malnourished frame "And on drums it's... BENNY RAMONE" Instantly identifiable but completely anonymous We set up our gear Baldy Keith's parents had bought him a huge, ostentatious kit With too many toms And one of those backwarrds cymbals McPherson's bass a beautiful Paddy's market semi That shreked when any amp was turned over two I was gonna sing And Big Jamesy brought out his Charvel And plugged it in a luminous, yellow DOD, Metal Maniac pedal Then turned every dial into Peavey tranny amp as far to the right as it would go Then he started Ah shite