If Only

If the sun and moon were aligned And they both crashed to the stars If you weren't so far behind You have a gun aimed at my heart I can not fall victim to my rage Feeling like a slave I do not reach out I may never fucking see a stage Hopping off this plane if I feel compelled Oh if only you knew (If only) I've been having battles with myself Thoughts underseas let em drift away I've been screaming yelling up to god Throw the kid a book let me flip the page I can not expect to walk this road Damage to my soul leaving behold I don't want to feel this world anymore All my life, all my life they calling me up(?) All my life, all my life always doubt me All my life, all my life they calling me up(?) If I would've known what I know now If only I knew If I could go back and do it all I would change a thing I would double up How can you keep talking while you fall You get double crossed, we just double up So I'm not really hearing what you say Pain has never got me anywhere anyway All I really think about is this Try to box me in Put that thing away(?) All my life, all my life they calling me up(?) All my life, all my life always doubt me All my life, all my life they calling me up(?) If I would've known what I know now If only I knew