Harvard Variationen

EMMETT (spoken) Hello. I'm Emmett Forrest. Class of aught seven. Represent. Welcome to the hallowed halls of Harvard Law. I know firsthand how hard you've all worked to be here today. So, let's go around and share a bit about yourselves. AARON (spoken) Aaron Shultz. (sung) I won a Fulbright and a Rhodes I write financial software codes But that's a challenge I've outgrown How many yachts can one man own? Some say that I'm a pompous creep Somehow I don't lose that much sleep Why bother with false modesty? Harvard's the perfect place for me EMMETT & STUDENTS Pretty impressive, good to know EMMETT Welcome to Harvard SUNDEEP What's up? ENID Yo! SUNDEEP (spoken) Sundeep Agrawal Padomadon, but you may call me "your majesty." (sung) In my country My word was law But then I flee Because of stupid "coup d'etat" But here I learn I make new friends And soon return In bullet-proof Mercedes Benz EMMETT & STUDENTS Pretty impressive, good to know EMMETT Welcome to Har-- ENID (spoken) ENID HOOPES! (sung) I did the peace corps overseas Inoculating refugees In family clinics that I built myself From mud and trees I fought to clean up their lagoons And save their rare endangered loons And led a protest march against insensitive cartoons STUDENTS Pretty impressive, good-- ENID But now I'm on the legal track Because this country's out of whack And only women have the guts to go and take it back We'll make the government come clean And get more people voting green And really stick it to the phallocentric war machine ELLE (spoken) I love your top! It is so fatigue chic! Anyone know where I can find Criminal Law 101 with Professor Callahan? And Warner Huntington the Third? EMMETT (spoken) It's in Houser. Over there, second building on the left. ELLE (spoken) Thanks! AARON I won a Fulbright and a Rhodes I write financial software codes Harvard's the perfect place for me SUNDEEP In my country My word was law Harvard's the perfect place for me ENID I did the peace corps overseas Inoculating refugees Harvard's the perfect place for me STUDENTS Harvard's the perfect place for-- ELLE Warner! STUDENTS Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ELLE (spoken) Scuse me! STUDENTS Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ELLE (spoken) Pardon me! STUDENTS Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah ELLE (spoken) Comin' through! STUDENTS Harvard's the perfect place for me! Pretty impressive, good to know Welcome to Harvard- WARNER (spoken) Elle? ELLE (spoken) Omigod, Warner? I totally forgot you go here!