TAPE

I can barely rap, I can barely dance I can barely laugh, I can barely hang I want a male stripper to do a belly dance For me and my boyfriend, that's entertainment And I'm drunk as fuck, my niggas tuxed up I need a reason to get my bucks up I need a reason to care about society They need a good enough reason just to hire me But, honestly, you see my mom can't walk And her lungs don't work like they used to I feel like it's my fault 'cause of music I be sayin' shit that's just fuckin' rude and untrue and– But truthfully, the words had damage and it's cruel to me But even more cruel to be Dissin' you in front of niggas that pay to hear me Sometimes I be wondering, why I been trippin' off it I should probably spend my time writing rhymes in the dentist's office That's killin' two birds in one stone When I was younger, way before I was grown I wanted a deal with Death Row or Rhymesayers I'm savin' my time for mics later I might save it, dependin' on the shit that y'all write later I hate writers, I hate tweets, I hate journalists They hate truth, they hate peace They want my niggas to burn with us Flickin' on the face of my wrist watch Watch the time stop just to speed up, watch life unfold And between the tick-tocks, speedin' down the one-way Fuck these signs! Fuck these lights! Put my life on the line When it feel right, I'm fine, no, I'm not lyin', don't ask me I'll pay the fine, I'll pay the toll, just hope I don't crash it But, hey, if I do, it will be a blaze of glory Engulfed by the manifestation of death behind me All my life I've felt inadequate, and through the years I've dealt with Tragedy after tragedy, God, send a message Send a messenger my way, never claimed to be a saint, forgive me Feel like the light that I was blessed with has diminished I'm haunted by the visions of my youth turned true I've come to expect my expectations aren't true But I'm a master of believin' my lies And you can't break me, and I can't brake at the speed of light I'm afraid to share the bed, what if she want money later? Like she got laid off, uh, hit my lawyer for some paper I'm afraid to speak my pains like, "You lucky where you at" "You cool, but quit complainin' 'bout all that" That's why I'm showin' up late I'm not tryna be a dick, but my time is not to waste For myself, for the small talk with my sensei, where my sense at? Four-cylinder go 'round, Lincoln Town Car pick me up, drop me off I got bubble under my biceps, sneak me into the sidestep Ego is gettin' sized up, I be on butterfly effect Fuck it, I'll be myself now, tell 'em I take no shit now Tell 'em they work for me now, tell 'em my tears, they bleed down Tell 'em I work, like, what? What time for me now? Wondering who is me now, wondering where you been now Lose you in crowds, I see now, 14, I see 'em all inside of me now Bank account move like speeds now, make it from ways to feed now Thinkin' of ways to be everything but right now It's crazy how things feel the best When reminiscin' till we check ourselves It's crazy how people who left Say they feelin' left out when we step for health Still accustomed to nights filled with solitude I don't always remember to call goodnight I don't always remember my altitude I don't always remember to stop the fight But I might check my sight, it ain't right Yeah, I know, but my strife overwhelms, every night Until I'm forced to close my eyes Brain disease, parasite, eatin' me from inside Emotions bleed, I can't believe How I'm slippin' through the night