Right now

I'm getting clean so that later on I can go out

And get dirtier than anything that you have ever seen

Oh please, just leave me be

And I will see you when the lights go down and our eyes meet

Across a crowded room

Peekaboo in the hospital ICU

Can you see me?

I'm the one strapped to the sheets and attached to all these IVs

And when I'm eighty

I'll still be shaking my artificial hips to the beat

Of the life support machine

And when I'm eighty

I'll still be shaking my artificial hips to the beat

Of the life support machine

Objective: use our tongues like knives

And comb the clubs and bars and dives

In hopes to find some women

And soon to be future ex-wives

We're sly, we know, I know, you're right

But that doesn't seem to change a thing tonight

I'm armed with these scars and the best intentions

To use all my limbs like deadly weapons

So draw a crowd and clear the floor

Then draw your swords in the name of cardboard, 'cause

There ain't no shame in the game so don't be afraid

But will you answer when the tiger beatbox is calling your name?

Like, oh

My dance card reads like a resumé

(I'm sorry son but you're way overqualified)

My dance card reads like a resumé

(I'm sorry son but you're way overqualified)

And when I'm eighty

I'll still be shaking my artificial hips to the beat

Of the life support machine

And when I'm eighty

I'll still be shaking my artificial hips to the beat

Of the life support machine

Well, you can feel your stomach's sick

As the room begins to spin

She takes you by the hand

And of course you follow her in to the third door on the right

I guess it's one of those nights

Before you know it she disrobes, the floor's covered in clothes, just for safety hit the lights

You fall headfirst into bed

As you trip over her coat

And what's worse

Is in your head

An angel's screaming "oh, please don't"

And before you know it

She's panting the words

To the record that you wrote

Oh, oh