Concerning Lix & Fairs

Concerning Lix and Fairs, well that's a good'un And I hope you have the ear strength to listen to the whole thing Lix was a good man, to be sure, and sure liked to have his good fun And like everyone, he has his flaws, and yep, overpartying's one So when Malcolm came in to dust the Suspects, Lix fired a shot of "All-Ray" With a whoosh he was whisked to the Nearby woods, and time skipped to later that day Ok I'm not sure, I can't really say Just how he obtained that weird "All-Ray" Nah I don't know, (and I really don't care) But I remember the night that Lix found Fairs A poison dart frog that's right A bright tiny son-of-a-gun He spotted the leap-about late that night While trawling the woods for his son So Lix picks him up with a stick 'n says "hi" To his new dendrobatidae chum "You're small as a tick - I'm calling you FAIRS" It lept in the brim of the hat on his head 2 new friends, an unlike-ely pair The old mate Lix and a frog named Fairs 2 best friends, the inseparable pair The moustached Lix and the dart frog Fairs They came across the eggshell And weird track marks in the sand Followed them for oh, maybe 7 hours? Through trampled weeds and flowers It led them to the site Of the parliament of owls At their annual meeting Another baffled greeting As they explain "He was just here!" They drew another map And so he headed westward But the owl's directions and the Creature's tracks they didn't correspond Lix was a mess - a panic attack But Fairs calmly croaked in the brim of his hat A mash of the keys, and a shot of All-Ray Didn't help as the same spot there they stayed Now Lix didn't know how fast he could run With a poncho, hat and a fickle ray gun But I couldn't time, I wouldn't dare How quick was the air from Lix & Fairs Now listener, don't be sad When I tell you they almost nearly made it They watched the creature dive in The weird All-Knowing activates its Suckers and it latched to that which hatched But soon it gets distracted - whack Attacked there by our moustached hero with the All-Ray in his hand Then a frog to feast on flaps its flippers, so the fierce old cephalo Pod springs forth (with fifty hundred Fangs) and goes to chomp our now huge Friend with poison oozing from its skin Fiddling controls again Lix takes another shot but WHAT? Fairs leaps out in the way Oblivious to what is happening Suddenly Fairs is large Big as a whale so Lix jumps on Oh no, the monster lunges Lix has no other choice but to Sacrifice Fairs, his best friend just to save himself The squiddy beast poisoned, all shrivelled it be The rock creature sunk down into the sea Lix swam to shore with tears in his eyes And Fairs shrunk back down to his usual size And Malcolm would pass, and who should he find? Well, maybe we'll leave that till next time