The Incident

Oi, oi, stop, come back, you I was instrumental in creating the company A founding father of the movement, some say Had a hundred youngsters under my guidance at any one time Willing to learn, eager to please And salaried with the implicit threat of an instant dismissal (Oi, I'm warning you) All legal mind, hey Meager scraps for tender prey But everybody gotta learn some time and you learn that the hard way In the bustling hive of activity known as my As my holy global enterprise We created rules that you can't find in the book A different type of prison for a brand new type of crook Hey, feed me, my mind is greedy, massage my ego And read to me, slow stories from my youth Just like the Beano, colonial overtones, I know, hey, but so what I like the plot and the way the colors pop from the page Don't have to justify my rage Being a hypocrite does not devalue the merit of the accusations made Everybody's got dirt on everybody else in this day and age, mind (Come back you little bastard) I look good, dead good, too good, good for my age But if I'm not on the receiving end of never-ending compliments My thinking implement is bound to be in a constant state of discontent And I'm hellbent on expanding my heaven-sent empire, ethically But not at my own expense, no Peaking through the hole in the neighbor's fence It all looks pretty good Just don't look under the hood The engine is completely caked in snake oil and old mud I need something new to perk me up, because If I'm not pumped up, I'm impotent, I'm dead wood I'm dead wood And we don't want to repeat the same thing happening again I want to be relevant, I don't want to be a dud We created rules that you can't find in the book A different type of prison for a brand new type of crook Ever since the incident, my complete incompetence Has been exposed to everyone and rendered me irrelevant We created rules that you can't find in the book A different type of prison for a brand new type of crook Ever since the incident, my complete incompetence Has been exposed to everyone and rendered me irrelevant I'm irrelevant I'm irrelevant I'm irrelevant I'm irrelevant I'm irrelevant I'm irrelevant I'm irrelevant I'm irrelevant Ever since the incident My complete incompetence Has been exposed to everyone And rendered me irrelevant I'm irrelevant I'm irrelevant I'm irrelevant I'm irrelevant