A Letter To Anguish

Am I the mistake The equation can't be solved Are all the troubles a product of my narcissistic toils? Faking joy while aimlessly carving a path Which numbingly stains the soil as the aftermath Burn our bridge Douse the ground Find more ways to tear me down For I was lost And can't be found I'm so far gone I hear no sounds Of calling out Or crying out Tonight I stray further From the only soul I've ever cared about A sacrifice in form of Another momentary distraction Makes us seem so separate - again and again And every interaction shatters, each moment breaking you and me Our fragments sink again to drown in this toxic misery When blood is sought after And laughter seems to disappear I'll be looking into the hourglass Hoping you'll still call me your dear Is this what freedom is Finally letting go Flown so far away Just to lose touch with our home Eye for an eye Soul for a soul Further down the hill The snowball rolls Did I intend this mess Or was it fate? Has it been the worst mistake I have ever come to make? Maybe it's true, I'm the only one in the wrong Only you know the answer though I'm the one who tied your tongue Only I could see it coming The foreshadowing was true, I let myself slip away For my insanity was due It lurks and prees my every crooked crack My mind contorts into a state of panic Of ignorance, jealousy, rage ensued, forced onto me A letter soaked in agony From anguished times of constant tragedy Self destruction lead by sympathy To the agony in these words – I look back in shame