Deserve Me

And it happens again A cross to my shoulder, a jab to my chest A kick to my ego, a lack of defense As though in slow motion, you wind up again When did this become so normal and do I deserve this? When I met you in high school, I felt overwhelmed At getting attention for the first time, it sounds Like a pitiful cliché, a lame kiss-and-tell But the story takes twists and I can tell it myself I always adored you, the way you'd stand up For yourself and for me, but I couldn't handle The tempers and tantrums you'd throw at random Told myself it was my fault, 'cause I couldn't man up And that was the last time, I said and I said And it happens again A cross to my shoulder, a jab to my chest A kick to my ego, a lack of defense As though in slow motion, you wind up again When did this become so normal and do I deserve this? We laid out in your backyard naming every star we saw Back when both your hands were gentle and your speaking voice was soft You joked that Romans made up constellations on the spot And I believe that even Grecians beat me at connecting dots 'Cause for every side you showed me, I'd soften or I'd try To justify with reasons pleading for you in my mind I only see you sweetly when I see the stars at night Leave it to the only person that could ruin half the sky I just want to tell her I miss my best friend And it happens again A cross to my shoulder, a jab to my chest A kick to my ego, a lack of defense As though in slow motion, you wind up again When did this become so normal? A cross to my shoulder, a jab to my chest A kick to my ego, a lack of defense As though in slow motion, you wind up again What do I deserve? I'm finally ready to admit this wasn't my fault To learn that love does not exist when I feel this small And I can count on one hand the times you made me feel worthy I can count on one finger to say you don't deserve me No, you don't deserve me No, you don't deserve I just want to tell her I miss my best friend