contradiction

I like a clean space, but my bed's never made I don't want to waste time, but I sleep too late Got a big girl job, got bills to pay But I swear to God I was young yesterday I've been thinking a lot, how everything moves in circles Been doing a lot, I'm standing still I've been drinking a lot, watching 2 A.M. commercials All at once got what I need, but something's missing I try to be a good person, but I still talk shit It's all he said, she said, we said this And I know I'll feel better if I learned how to forgive It's easier to blame you for why I'm like this (why am I like this?) I've been thinking a lot, how everything moves in circles Been doing a lot, I'm standing still I've been drinking a lot, watching 2 a.m. commercials All at once got what I need, but something's missing Everything defined loses definition I know what I want, so why do I need permission I gave my plants too much water and they died Now I spend all of my time trying to bring them back to life I drive around listening to songs that make me cry And smile at the same time I've been thinking a lot, how I'm running in circles I've been doing a lot, I'm standing still I've been drinking a lot, reading all of my old journals All at once got what I need, but something's missing