Donald's To Do List For Today

Alright brand new day for Donald

Best day tremendous day

Gotta start strong

First this Egg McMuffin

Delicious nice and greasy

Just the way I love em

But enough chit chat I've got work to do

Time to make America more me

To do list time

Demand all clocks be reset to Trump Standard Time

Announce a new campaign slogan Make America Hate Again

Declare myself the winner of an election that hasn't even started

Sue everyone who liked a mean tweet about me

Rewrite the Bible with my own commandments starting with Thou shalt not fact check me

Make sure today's golf score is miraculously lower than my approval rating

Blame Obama for literally anything preferably the weather

Hold a rally where I talk about how great I was yesterday

Appoint a new Attorney General who thinks laws are just suggestions

Demand scientists prove my hands are normal sized

Ban books that contain words I don't understand

Threaten to nuke a hurricane again just for the memes

Replace the Constitution with a signed copy of The Art of the Deal

Sign an executive order making Trump Steaks the official food of the US

Declare CNN illegal and replace it with Trump TV

Start a GoFundMe for my legal fees

Rename America to Trumperica

Insist that Mount Rushmore isn't done until my head is added twice

Ban TikTok but allow Truth Social on every school computer

Claim credit for inventing electricity the wheel and the internet

Rewrite history so I personally defeated Hitler and won the Civil War

Sell the Statue of Liberty to fund a Trump Tower Wall around California

Change the national anthem to my WWE entrance theme

Host a game show where contestants battle for a pardon

Outlaw windmills because they cause cancer and hate Trump

Declare Florida an independent nation and make Mar a Lago the capital

Sign an executive order banning rainbows solar panels and woke energy

Replace the bald eagle with a golden Trump bobblehead

Demand that all voters show a photo of themselves wearing a MAGA hat

Hold an emergency meeting to discuss why windmills hate me

Host a rally to announce my plans for a Space Force 2 Electric Boogaloo

Invent a fake war to distract from my legal troubles

Launch TrumpTV state run news

Make Ivanka my VP and Don Jr my Defense Secretary

Mandate that all new babies born in America be named Donald or Melania

Replace the Supreme Court with a loyalty quiz

Schedule daily fake news briefings for my personal amusement

Schedule a press conference to announce my new line of Trump branded vitamins for perfect health

Pardon myself preemptively for crimes I might commit today

Turn the Lincoln Memorial into a mirror so I can see a real leader when I visit

Alright list looks good

Great list the best list

Time to get to work

Another day another win

And remember I'm strong I'm powerful

I'm probably the best there's ever been

People love me even the haters they know it

History's gonna say I was the greatest because I'm writing history