Fighting – Mickey Cucchiella: Στίχοι τραγουδιών, μουσικά βίντεο και συναυλίες

Mickey Cucchiella

Fighting

12

Standup Comedy

Fighting κυκλοφόρησε στις 15 Οκτωβρίου 2013 από Comedy Dynamics, A Nacelle Company ως μέρος του άλμπουμ Short Stories

Λεπτομέρειες τραγουδιού

ΆλμπουμShort Stories

Ημερομηνία κυκλοφορίας15 Οκτωβρίου 2013

ΕτικέταComedy Dynamics, A Nacelle Company

LanguageEnglish

Μελωδικότητα

Ακουστικότητα

Βαλάνς

Χορευτικότητα

Ενέργεια

ΕΠΙΣΚΌΠΗΣΗ

ΣΤΊΧΟΙ

Συντελεστές

Στίχοι

Here's the other thing women can do that flips me out

Women can get ultra mad, then just shut up

Be like, "I hate you"

Not men, men, we explode

And the quieter you are, the more insane we get

You ever do that?

Say, "Hey, what's wrong with you?"

"I'm talking to you!"

"Hello, I'm right in front of you!"

"Are you gonna talk to me?"

"Are you gonna talk?"

Here's the problem! Right here!

This is the problem with us! Right here!

I'm just trying to have a normal fucking conversation

You got to act like an asshole

And then, and then, fellas, we all do it

We reach that part where we say something that

As it's coming out, we're going, "No"

It's like, "You get on my nerve"

"I swear, this is why I should have fucked your sister"

You know that?

"I should have, I should have banged your sister when I..."

"That came out wrong"

"I meant to say, I meant to say, I'm yelling so loud, I now have a blister"

"In my throat"

Guys, you ever storm out of the house to leave

And leave the keys inside?

That is the worst

"Fuck you!"

Bam! "I'm getting out of here"

"I don't need this bullshit!"

"Swear to God, work every day"

"I come home for this!"

"Son of a bitch"

And there's always your neighbor next door

"You okay?"

"No, I'm not okay, I'm not okay"

"Do you know why?"

"Because this woman is a devil

And I'm gonna to die standing here"

And then if you got a cool neighbor, he's always like

"Hey, you need a beer?"

"Yeah, yeah, I do"

Then you stand out front

For three hours with this guy

And it's not like your wife even comes to the door to look

She don't give a shit

You left, thank God, she's in there doing her nails, watching TV

Right? Doing the shit she wanted to do

We're out front the whole time, too, aren't we?

"She's going to come out of here any minute"

"I'll tell you what, I ain't going to forgive her either, Billy"

"Thanks for the beer, man"

"Fucked up"

"Don't do this shit, Billy"

"Billy, I'm sick of it"

Let me ask you a question, Billy, seriously

When you come home at night

And you're tired, and you just want to take your shoes off

Sit down, watch some TV or something

Maybe cook me a steak

She's gotta act

She's going to act like she had too hard of a day

"Just make me something to eat"

How can a day be that hard?

She don't even do nothing

"Oh, stay-at-home mom"

Is that what they call it now?

You know what they used to call it? Unemployed

Drink to that shit

We get dumb though

The madder men get, we get so stupid

Because then we start rationalizing everything the way a man thinks

And see, a man thinks like this

If they can't fix it in five seconds

They either got to buy a new one

Or they got to beat the fuck out of it until it works

But you can't hit a woman

I can't anyway

Five-three, I'm going to get the shit kicked out of me

I made a mistake one time of just raising my hand

She said something, I was like, I swear she

Literally, as I went to say something

I went like this, bam!

"I'm sorry, you are, I'm an asshole

You are 100% right

I don't know how you stay with me

I'm sorry"

Your woman ever scare you with some psycho shit?

Like psycho-psycho shit

Shit you didn't even know she could do

Like you'd be arguing, and all of a sudden she'd go

"Why don't you just go in the kitchen?"

"Why?"

"Don't worry about it"

I ain't going in that kitchen now hell no

Now, here's where people get mad

Women especially

I have a little rule

If you don't work outside the home

I'm not doing shit inside the home

"Bill, Bill, Bill, shame on you

You should do anything that man wants!"

I get up every day and go to work at that fucking radio show

I get up at quarter to four every day

In the morning

And I come home, right? And it's like

It's like, I've been like-by 10:30 in the morning

Whatever, don't judge me

I work hard

But the thing is, like why?

Why do I have to do anything?

Listen, no, don't give me the why's

See, women, no, it's not fair

Did you say "Wah" right here?

Do you work?

Do you work? (Yeah)

Then shut the fuck up if you work

I'm not talking about you

If you work, you can, "Wah" all you want

I'm talking about you lazy bitches

It gets on my damn nerves

She'll call me like

"Can you do me a favor and stop at the store and get about 14 things?"

No!

Why do I have to do that?

Like, I literally think when I walk in the door

My wife should be waiting like this

She can have, listen, she can have anything she wants

I've never said no to anything

I'm just saying

Like I just want to walk in my house one time and go

"Where are the kids? Whoa! What the fuck! Hey, whoa!"

"Let go! Let go!"

"Stop it! Stop it!"

"Oh, God, this is awesome"

Written by: Mike Birbiglia

Υποσέλιδο Shazam

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