To-Do List

Wash all the pots and linens Find a psychoanalyst Go to the bank and deposit checks Sweep up the shattered dish Return everything that I've borrowed Change all the bloody gauze Buy a spinach-colored dinner jacket Defy all natural laws Oh-oh-oh, cancel better homes and gardens Oh-oh-oh, admire gothic arches Become a lot more happy Build a maze of styrofoam Befriend an unfortunate lunatic Wail on a saxophone Walk down the road into darkness Fall in an orchestra pit Have an affair in the provinces Bring flowers to the sick Oh-oh-oh, find out what's killing the bees Oh-oh-oh, proclaim a lasting peace Open the blinds, let the light in Stand in the amorous rays Rise up in the name of liberty Throw out my fascist berets Purchase balloons for the ballroom Buy some asparagus Buy a harmonium and powdered wig Buy after-dinner mints Oh-oh-oh, buy head cheese and hock of ham Oh-oh-oh, become a family man Finish the Wealth of Nations Discover a miracle drug Learn all supreme court justice's names And test the limits of love Acquire more guilty pleasures Sit and watch as the plague goes by Wash the hot fry stains from my hands And laugh until I cry Oh-oh-oh, throw out all the songs I wrote Oh-oh-oh, and buy a buckskin coat