Grow Up

I feel homesick To a place I barely know Orange blossom trees in the streets Of my Childhood memories Grow up you say And I ask myself Am I not good enough? Life's tough and I seek joy in the little things While I'm still mourning all the days I wish I could have been A child, I was just a child My grandfather's body cold and white I feel homesick To a place I barely know Orange blossom trees in the streets of my childhood memories I feel homesick To a place I carried around All my life It's been keeping me alive Grow Up! Can you put the games aside and get a nine to five? To grow up, don't I need nourishment? Yet I'm still feeling pain in my scarred body Too often starved body Carved into what people want to see in me Body Hollow, thin, pale, scared Skin brittle body bare Touched, Objectified Ownership in my own right Sexualized Held, pushed, shamed Fugitive in chains Referee, woman kept to be unfree The woman I am now I'm proud to be Homesick To a place I barely know Orange blossom trees in the streets Of my childhood memories I feel homesick to this place I barely know These very same streets Run red from the blood of women and children longing to be free Ooh What is this home? Where is this home? Ooh My mother grew this body from her body occupied by me Made her my home Gave me her own Helped me to care for my body Broken bone body Generational, knowledge, trauma, features Nose inherited We call a mole a mother's mark My father kissed the bruises better when I had fallen Get up azizam he'd call me