Happiness

Ripped jacket with the stains on the surface

He was the kid that everyone was happy they weren't

Sitting alone, invisible to every passing person

Wondering what it would feel like to have a purpose

He never had a childhood

Forced to parent his own parents like no child should

His father was a veteran drowning his memories with liquor

When his mother's taking pills like doctors give her

But they only make her sicker

With no sibling to walk through this stuff

No ends, no money, no friends, nobodies

He ain't talking enough

He ain't putting himself out there

He's awkward too much, well

Who in his life would he learn that confidence from?

And he sits behind me in class

One day I heard him crying from the back

Finally I turned around and I asked what was wrong

The first time I heard his voice

He said, "All I know is pain

If this is life, what's the point?

Show me what happiness is"

His voice gloomy, he looked through me

He said, Show me what happiness is

Desperateness in his face, I didn't know what to say

I couldn't think

Show me what happiness is

He put his head down and he didn't make a sound

Show me what happiness is

And I just froze

Like, I don't even know

Perfect makeup, even though she don't need the extra touch

She was the girl that every other girl was jealous of

Silky hair, blue eyes, thin body with

Curves but her new clothes only covered parts of it

She's almost looked at like a goddess to all

Attracts every pair of eyes when she walks through the hall

But she's likable too, she's not the one to gossip

Evident when you talk to her, she ain't ever pompous

Wealthy home filled with knowledge and newness

She was the youngest out of three book-smart students

And her parents were so proud, pride was all around her

But I always notice something was a little off about her

She sits in front of me in class

One day I noticed heavy makeup on her wrist

When she passed papers back

After class, I approached her and I asked about it

She said, it don't mean I have it if I'm around it

Show me what happiness is

Damn

I looked into her eyes, I saw for the first time

Show me what happiness is

I saw regret, she walked away in a sec

Her voice rang through my head

Show me what happiness is

I watched her walk away, she became another face

What she say?

Show me what happiness is

And I just froze

Like, I don't even know

I don't know, because I ask myself the same thing every single day

But every single answer has been vague

How come some appreciate the sun after the rain?

While others just see the puddles as if nothing else changed

And as I watch people living a life I couldn't take

I wonder if they see a way out mentally

And as I watch people living a life I idolize

I wonder what they feel and what isn't seen

As I watch my whole family take pills for depression

I wonder what true happiness really means

I wonder if because I'm genetically predisposed to it

That is the reason I find myself feeling weak

Only sometimes in and out

I guess it's scarier when you don't have a reason to be feeling down

Sometimes I just am

Sometimes I just feel no one will never understand

Sometimes I wanna cry

Sometimes I wanna crush my family's so-called medication, look in they eyes

And tell them they don't need it, as long as we just have each other

But then sometimes I watch them suffer

I just wonder what happiness is

Show me what happiness is