Queer Things

We got married in the spring To prove it here's my wedding ring I always think of my blushing groom Whenever I see the pansies bloom OH No Say it cannot be Queer things are happening to me A groom should bring his bride some joy A boy's supposed to be a boy I told him about the birds and bees But he still wears those pink Shimmies Oh No Say it cannot be Queer things are happening to me His Hair is curly as can be He uses curlers just like me When I find lipstick on his tie He says there's no other woman so it must be a guy Oh No Que'l Tragedy Queer things are happening to me He's so big and He's so strong I can't figure out where he went wrong He must have got caught right in between His name is Chris it ought to be Christine Oh No Say it cannot be Queer things are happening to me He's never been to Gay Paris But he's as gay as he can be His friends are sweet, They're queer as Band They're turning my home into a fairy land Oh No Oh what a tragedy Queer things are happening to me We went one night to a masquerade And I dressed up like a parlour maid Everyone knew it was me right away But no-one knew he was the Queen of the Mae Oh No Woodman spare that tree Queer things are happening to me Whenever we'd go out to dine I'd buy him Pheasant and Apricot wine But he says NO, what can I do He doesn't wanna try anything that's new Oh No Say it cannot be Queer things are happening to me While I was walking down the aisle His friends all stood around and smiled I found out why and it hurts my pride They knew he liked the best man better than the bride Oh No No it cannot be Queer things are happening to me We have decided it cannot be I'm not for him and He's not for me He can do what he wants and I'll do what I can But the both of us Have gotta get a man.