Grand Hotel

Somewhere below the grand hotel There is a tunnel that leads down to hell Take the dumbwaiter, the laundry chute Then sneak through the hall past the boy's shining boots Then left at the courtyard through the old garden Where all the bellhops smoke with the guards And then you run to the old lake house Down to the old lake house Run to the old lake house where it begins Under the floorboards there's a deep well That leads to a spring that sprung up in hell That's where old devils danced and kissed And made their blood pacts in the ancient myths And running through forest they screamed in chorus While piercing fair maiden's chests with their horns And then they lay in the grass 'til the dawn came Sleeping away 'til the dawn came Lay in the grass where now stands the grand hotel The Maître D' and a fancy chef Silver's real, the liquor's top shelf Play some tennis, swim in a pool Stroll the garden shady and cool You won't care that the devils Won't mind that the devils Won't know that the devils are near Somewhere below the grand hotel There is a tunnel that leads straight to hell But no one comes up for the souls anymore They come for some comfort and for the dance floor And hiding sharp horns under fedoras Do not disturb signs instead of a chorus They toss and turn 'til the dawn comes On soft sheets 'til the dawn comes No one sleeps at the grand hotel Room service, mini-bar Scented soaps, chauffeured cars Stay a day, stay a week Here's the tunnel, take a peek Just call up your friends at the front desk Any hour at the front desk Call up your friends at the grand hotel You'll always have friends at the grand hotel